Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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