4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He did a backflip because drugs
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