Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
