I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
