dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
