does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
