Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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