porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
