Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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