bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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