He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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