He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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