he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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