I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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