Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
