So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
