I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
nutella sex= disaster
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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