I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
