u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
