Buhtt sex?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
