I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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