she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
