WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
