You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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