I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
