I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
