The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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