This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
