chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
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