Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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