She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
