Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
