All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
