So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
