No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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