Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize