We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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