there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
