I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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