there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I intend to get homeless drunk
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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