I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
