On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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