He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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