I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
