I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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