Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
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Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
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I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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