Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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