just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
