You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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