I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
