i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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