what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
