that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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