We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Do vagina's smell?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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