Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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