he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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