I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
be right there i have to get my cape
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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