My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
