I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
