I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
