I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
