you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
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Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
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Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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