im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
