i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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